Friday, February 24, 2006
In two weeks, I'll go to Grace Metzger's wedding shower. A month after that, I will attend her wedding. When I search for her on Google, she comes up fourth. Fourth.
I love that about Grace--her inevitable success. At the same time, that is not what makes her. I know so many smart people that cannot cope with basic life situations, or who do not maintain a character worth much. I don't consider them intelligent people, because we all excel in areas, but holistic maturation should be our goal.
Grace has excelled in many areas. I don't feel inferior. I never have felt inferior. But there are times I get the distinct feeling that maybe I should feel inferior. She will ask me about my goals, my plans, my dreams, where I am with God. Always it's the same for me. No matter who I really am, I can never really express myself when being asked. I'll sputter something about struggling. I'll tell her I don't know what I'm doing even though I have concrete plans! Even know, I'm qualifying my statement by telling my sad green blog about my plans!
I'm just saying that it really shouldn't matter much what I'm doing since I happen to know that I've been consistently developing holistically for some time. If she wants to know about that progress, she can consistently check in for some time.
So why do I need validation? Why does Grace need to qualify my life. How do I now that teaching these 24 second graders won't turn out to have a huge world-impact? I don't know. She just looks so good to me still. I wonder why I'm not there yet. And then I remember that I am very "far" if growing toward God can be spoken of in terms of distance. My journey has taken me closer to the center of a large circle, and I cannot judge my journey by someone else's.
im tipsy
posted by Mary 10:25 PM
